08 May 2013 890 Views

Be Thankful for Your Mom and Not Some Whacko Like These Movie Moms

by Dan Koelsch

throw momma from the train

Mother’s Day is just around the corner and it’s time to celebrate your mom. What better way to show your appreciation than by reviewing the worst moms that have graced the silver screen? They may be fictional in some cases, but they sure will make you appreciate how good you had it growing up.

5. Momma — “Throw Momma From The Train” (1987)

If you son or daughter wants to take you on a train ride for Mother’s Day, you might want to quickly review you motherly duties over the years. Owen (played by Danny DeVito) constantly gets torn down verbally by his Momma (Anna Ramsey) and it seems the movie never goes five minutes without Owen getting a good old-fashioned love tap from a pan or a cane from Momma. It’s bad enough that Owen has to live with Momma to care for her, but to have to put up with the physical and verbal abuse the old bat puts him through, well, it’s no wonder Owen opts to give momma the ride of her life (and to her death) on a train rather than getting her FTD.com white roses. As The New York Times review points out, the movie, starring Billy Crystal, mirrors Alfred Hitchcock’s “Strangers on a Train,” but thankfully this was merely a comedy. One has to wonder though, if Momma was your momma, you wouldn’t be laughing so much.

4. Mary Jones — “Precious” (2009)

What makes Mary (played by Mo’nique Hicks) one of the worst movie moms is how manipulative she is with her daughter. Black Youth Project said the movie was so moving it brings viewers to tears, so much so that the audience should storm out of the theaters in defiance of portraying a cruel mother so vividly. Not only does Mary make her daughter quit school so she can collect more welfare but she is to blame for her daughter’s obesity, her HIV disease and she idly stood by when Precious (Gabourey Sidibe) was raped by her own father. Clearly, she’s no Mother of the Year candidate. Cold, calculated and driven to take her failed life out on her daughter, Mary, sadly, is so convincing

3.​Eleanor Shaw Iselin — “Manchurian Candidate” (1962)

Making mother proud usually means doing your chores or earning your degree from college. But, as Ranker points out, having to take over the world to impress mother seems a bit much. Angela Lansbury’s Oscar-nominating character, Mrs. Eleanor Shaw Iselin, shows how a wicked mother can be truly an extremist in her political views and more manipulative than a C.I.A. agent with a grudge. Hell hath no fury like a mother scorned in this film.

2. Margaret Whi​te — “Carrie” (1976)

Margaret White (played by Piper Laurie) was a devout Christian and only wanted her daughter, Carrie (Sissy Spacek), to be as pure as she could be. Surely, the hours and hours…and hours…spent in the “prayer closet” brought Carrie closer to God and straightened any sinful thoughts she would be having as a adolescent girl. Convinced she was part of the devil’s work, Margaret soon finds out the hard way that mother doesn’t always know best as Carrie flexes her supernatural muscles and puts a stop to the Bible-toting zealot.

1. Joan Crawford — “Mommie Dearest” (1981)

photo by Dennis Amith

There’s obsessed, overbearing mothers. And then there’s Joan Crawford. If there’s one thing daughters should take away from watching this 1981 flick, starring Faye Dunaway, it’s to NEVER use wire hangers! Because the film drew horrible critical reviews, Dunaway’s career, according to Time Magazine, seemed to take a pretty good size hit, however, as soon as it went public, women with hangers in tow flocked to the theaters.

The uncaged outrage of Mommie Dearest, as Dunaway’s character demand her daughter call her, made hairs on the audience’s arms stand on end and her blood curdling screams of rage made you believe you were actually her target. While the other worst movie moms are driven to rid themselves of their children, good old Mommie Dearest vows to keep her daughter around, which surely 12 rounds with Mike Tyson in the boxing ring would be considered a vacation compared to what Mommie Dearest puts her daughter through. What makes Joan Crawford the worst movie mother of all is that this character was actually a person. The memoir of “Mommie Dearest” was a bestseller. Time reported that even after death, Mommie Dearest was bitter to the end, leaving nothing for her daughter in her will.

So appreciate your mother. Buy her flowers, spoil her. Just be sure to hide the wire hangers when she comes over.



* * * * * * * * *

The above article was written by guest writer April Harper. April loves horror and sci-fi movies and reviews them for various entertainment blogs. She also edits videos and frequents Comic-Con.



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