What we learned from the Mission: Impossible Trailer
Good Morning Agent ‘Movie Viral Reader’.
Your Mission, should you choose to accept it is to watch the new Mission: Impossible movie. This fifth episode, titled Rogue Nation, is released on July 31st. We have intercepted transmissions from an undercover trailer leak and learned the following things:
- Tom Cruise plays Ethan Hunt again. He looks exactly the same as he did in 1996. Only better. This is cause for concern and must be investigated as top priority.
- Jeremy Renner actually gets STUFF TO DO. In an action adventure franchise movie. Report immediately to the Senate Movie Star Oversight Committee.
- Alec Baldwin plays a pompous, officious Bureaucrat. He should cut his field agents some slack, really. Remember, dude: you were once JACK RYAN! And IMF hunted by CIA? AGAIN? REALLY?
- Simon Pegg and Ving Rhames are in it and basically do the same job, right? This might end in a fight over the toys. No offence, Pegg but my money is on Ving.
- The baddies are called The Syndicate. It’s impossible to take them down. Hang on..don’t they KNOW what the good guys are called here? The IMPOSSIBLE MISSIONS FORCE! IMF. Or is that the International Monetary Fund? Now that WOULD be an interesting sixth movie. ‘Mr. Hunt..how much do you know about managing money?’
- The usual stunt-fest inc: Amazing bike chase; gravity defying kung-fu; holding breath underwater for a really long time.
- Lots of the action is based in London. That’s London, ENGLAND.
If you don’t believe us in this clandestine spy world where nobody can be trusted, ok. Just watch the trailer below. But be warned..it will self-destruct in…ok..no it won’t. Just sit back, relax and enjoy, before the new movie is released and reviewed soon. We will disavow any knowledge of your having been in the Cinemas.
Good luck, Mr. Cruise! You work hard enough it seems, so you deserve every success.