21 June 2016 1545 Views

We Asked a Panel of Movie Characters How They Might Vote in the British Referendum on EU membership and the Results were quite a Surprise

by James Murphy

#BREXIT VS #BREMAIN: DAWN OF JUST IN (OR OUT)

brexit

Will the UK be celebrating an INDEPENDENCE DAY? Or will it be a CIVIL WAR / APOCALYPSE?

The British can either leave the European Union. Or Remain. Simple game. Simple choice. Profound implications, with no right or wrong answer as such. No sequel with a safe resolution. No flying round the globe to undo the decision and its fallout. No..ok, you ‘get’ it.

We cannot tell the future, of course. But we can consult the canon / font of great movie wisdom for guidance in this most crucial time for Britain and its future. And so, we have done precisely that. Welcome to the MOVIE VIRAL European Referendum Debate!

 

Let’s get a soundbite at least from each of our players..

 

  • EMPEROR PALPATINE (served in five of the seven STAR WARS films; expert on political intrigue and all round evil genius).

 

‘EVERYTHING is proceeding as I have foreseen! The British, tired of those BUREAUCRATS at the European Federation will elect to LEAVE! And in turn, there will rise again a new BRITISH EMPIRE! Gooood. Goood. I can FEEL the ANGER in the REMAIN camp..it gives them FOCUS.’ 

 

 

  • BATMAN / BRUCE WAYNE (Protector of Gotham City; Co-Founder of the Justice League; BATMAN!)

 

‘If there is even a ONE per cent chance that BREXIT will destroy Britain then you must treat that as an ABSOLUTE certainty! I believe in self sufficiency but also in a team; in a City; a unity; an ideal. People NEED strong examples to shake them out of apathy and you cannot do that as Britain alone. You need a SYMBOL. And that is Britain BOTH as a nation AND a member of Europe. Not because it HAS to be, but now, post referendum, because it CHOOSES to be!’ 

 

 

  • JAMES BOND (Of Her Majesty’s Secret Service, Mi6)

 

‘I’ll do what I’m told. I have my orders. Britain will endure in any event. And we can always go back if it goes tits up. I have no objections, either way. In fact it’s quite good for business: more places to infiltrate, more secrecy. Fact is, the more I uncover about Blofeld and SPECTRE, the more I realise that the politics of the world are in fact run by criminal corporations. You and I are simply blunt instruments, trapped in the middle. Leaving the EU would make times a little tougher for a bit but I doubt the Sky would fall..’

 

 

 

  • DR HENRY ‘INDIANA’ JONES (Famous Archaeologist; Expert on the Occult; Finder of Rare Antiquities)

 

‘I’m an American, pal. It’s got nothing to do with me! That said, I get your suspicions of the French. BELLOCH! And a fair few of my colleagues have been British and they did not exactly go to pieces without being in some Euro-club. Tell you one thing, though..customs clearance and no Visa stuff sure makes adventuring on the continent a whole lot easier..I don’t envy you your choice. But it IS your choice. Not mine!’..

 

 

 

 

  • DR HANNIBAL LECTER (Psychiatrist; Academic; Cannibal; Serial Murderer; Art Critic)

 

‘ A Referendum Poller once tried to ask me how I would vote in this area. But he stopped. Because I got RIGHT inside his HEAD. He remembered his childhood and being terrible at French. By the end of the call, he was a nervous, quivering wreck and vowed never to vote at all.  And me? Well, I am in both camps. Loathe the idea of European law enforcement cracking down on a harmless killer like me..but also adore the travel, art and cuisine. Ta Ta! ‘ 

 

 

 

  • DR IAN MALCOLM (Mathematician and Chaotician; Veteran Survivor of the first Jurassic Parks) 

 

‘Ah. Yeah. BANG! Here’s the problem with the EU..Ah..you didn’t STOP to THINK about whether it could WORK. Before you’d thought it through..it was slapped on a lunch box and SELL! SELL! SELL! On the other hand..a referendum..in the wrong hands? Your politicians were so busy thinking about whether they COULD leave the EU that they didn’t stop and think about whether or not they SHOULD! Either way..it’s an event of pure chaos and extinction. Good Luck with that Vote!’ 

 

 

  • RICK BLAINE (Owner, Rick’s Bar, Casablanca)

 

‘ This Referendum don’t amount to a hill of beans. My Bar will always be open and whether you are in or outta Europe, British friends. And remember, you’ll always have Paris! Now play it, Sam: play that song. play BOTH of them..God Save the Queen AND that Beethoven number about unity in Europe.’ 

 

  • DR EVIL (Head of an evil organisation; failed super-villain; less sexy brother of Austin Powers)

‘The problem is that Europe is being run by FRICKKIN IDIOTS! If they were to be..eliminated..then who knows? Perhaps Britain could stay..how you might say..’IN’? Or ‘Out’. I don’t know.. I’m not really a ‘hands on’ referendum sort of evil genius.  For that you need one of my evil employees. Goldmember? Farage? Cameron? Johnson? KHAN! Yes..I own them all! In or out..Britain will always be..’evil’?’. 

 

  • SUPERMAN! (Last Son of Krypton; all round nice guy and..well..super-man?)

‘Since Earth adopted me, I have come to see your Planet as my own. And I wish you could all see it as I do, with a great potential for unity over division, regardless of which way you vote or which trade block you do or do not join. But remember to vote and use that privilege, wisely. With ALL your heart and soul. And know this: whatever the result, you can count on me to fight for truth, justice and a European, British and HUMAN way!’…

 

 

Movie-Viral wishes the very best to the citizens of the United Kingdom as they make their decision this week. Joking apart, it is a very big moment in history, economics and in politics. But the freedom to communicate and relate in the art form of cinema will go on building bridges in any event and might just be a source of consolation on the day, should you be disappointed with the outcome. Good Luck and vote with mind, heart, soul and every fabric of your convictions, on whichever side of the debate you may find yourself . 



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