25 October 2016 1616 Views

Marvel to launch its own Benedict Cumberbatch universe

by James Murphy

Our world is in jeopardy. Only one man can save it: The amazing BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!

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Marvel Studios started with the idea of simply using Cumberbatch as an actor, playing Doctor Strange (released today in UK Cinemas: by all accounts, it’s rather brilliant). Dr Strange has special powers, naturally (can summon other dimensions and stop baddies coming in from said). But Cumberbatch? Far, far better. And more powerful!

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Benedict’s amazing powers include:

  • Self Cloning and Bi-Location (he is everywhere, always)!
  • Making Fan-Girls swoon, squee and set up Tumblr Accounts!
  • Turning derivative and mediocre material into worldwide phenomena!
  • Raising awareness of a humanitarian crisis, then taking endless shit for just being that decent!
  • Working hard and getting on with things in non fussy, non starry way!
  • Looking a BIT like your local Vicar, yet somehow being an awesome movie star!
  • Can change his hair shape /colour/texture with the power of thought!
  • Induces sycophancy everywhere and hypnotised mass audiences to watch SHAKESPEARE!
  • Has a nice Voice! Is effortlessly COURTEOUS, always!

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In view of that spectacular list of powers, Kevin Feige and Stan Lee met with a number of top ranking fellow corporate personnel (ILLUMINATI!) at Marvel and Disney. A unanimous Board decision was made: Cumberbatch’s powers HAD to be harnessed. The opportunity for a new cinematic universe could NOT be missed!

It is hoped that a series of BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH movies will be made, starting with an origin story (Benedict as a really nice kid in school, showing others how to fix their duvets) before moving to a darker, middle phase (Benedict is told his name is too big/’posh’; toys with calling himself..Peregrin Cumberbatch instead) before an epic close to his trilogy, full circle (Benedict is given title role in BBC update of some detective or other? Ah yes..BULLDOG DRUMMOND, right?) He then gets own Marvel movie..full circle!).

Celebrity Sightings in New York City - April 2, 2016

But the biggest plan of ALL? A SHARED UNIVERSE! It is hoped that within three years we could see the amazing BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH crossover to other franchises, with his AMAZING FRIENDS! Enter TOM HIDDLESTON (Super power: making everyone THINK he wants to be James Bond..by being EVERYWHERE..then..er..disappearing, ‘swiftly’?). Appearances also expected from JUDGE RINDER (Super-power: transferring a wholly incompatible format of USA Legal television to the UK). Not to forget the mighty DAN STEVENS (can gain and lose weight at a remarkable rate for ANY part; can recite every Booker Prize winning novel, in Latin).

Matters helped by the fact that everyone loves Cumberbatch so frankly, the assembling team /universe can be as big as Marvel require. Money no object. Living or dead, other actors and characters, be they real or fictional: all more than happy to join the Cumber-verse.

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We look forward to seeing how this all pans out. Meantime: watch DOCTOR STRANGE in Cinemas and enjoy the fun. A Review will materialise..soon..;) 

 

 



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