16 September 2018 5380 Views

TOM HIDDLESTON On Course to Write AND Direct BOND 25?

by James Murphy

When Danny Boyle dropped out? The BOND 25 Team could still count..on a SUPERMAN! 

You Know The Name. You Know His Number. Hot on the Heels of last week’s news that TOM HIDDLESTON is in the frame for SUPERMAN..Another top franchise of films has allegedly sought out his services to come to the rescue. That’s right, dear readers! Our man Tom might just be about to join the BOND 25 team as the writer/director. 

It is early days and a confirmation is yet to be received. However, the following details appear to have been leaked by an anonymous source.

  • Tom is going to be a VERY busy man.
  • He knows that SUPERMAN would require a LOT of Gym workouts but wants to stay busy between exercise bouts and until everything is confirmed, officially. 
  • So he has committed to help out the Bond people during his downtime. It was nothing, really. Especially to a man of his formidable intellect. 
  • Whilst nothing has been either confirmed nor denied officially? It is fair to conclude that TOM HIDDLESTON could indeed writing/directing BOND 25!
  • He was expecting the call and had a special phone installed, on alert, specifically, for Bond. Always ready and eager to please.

Now, there is some bad news and things have not been completely plain sailing. As always with Bond and specifically this latest episode:one step forward, several paces..back.  For example, when Tom was asked abut writing a ‘period piece’ he got over-excited. They meant the 60s or even 80s/90s. He went further and tried to set 007’s latest adventure in medieval times. Bond was to go undercover in a Monastic setting. It would have been appropriate for the current ethos of James Bond not being able to do sex stuff onscreen with ladies anymore, in an environment surrounded only by celibate guys. The set-up was also very ASSASSINS CREED. That as you all know, was a fan -film, featuring FASSBENDER (itself a possible title for BOND 25: catchy, one-name etc).

Hiddleston of course was in his element in such an imaginative playground and was able to capture every authentic beat of life in those times. Indeed, he wrote chunks of his treatment in immaculate middle English. Alas? Current 007 actor DANIEL CRAIG is thought to have pulled the plug on that over-ambitious idea: ‘I AM NOT WEARING ANOTHER F’C’KING MONK’S HABIT AS A HITMAN’S DISGUISE‘. Craig of course was recognised in film first for his part in Shekhar Kapur’s ELIZABETH (1998).

Never one to be defeated? Tom has reverted to a focus on directing, with old Bond scribes Purvis and Wade having been brought into rewrite what was initially their own draft then became the aborted John Hodge piece when Boyle was directing. It is thought they will not use Tom’s draft or ideas but he is still a potential co-writer. And as the possible director too: his input is of course valued hugely. He has also offered his services in keeping all drafts of the latest script secure.

In a bid to avoid the SONY leaks of a few years back, Hiddleston has taken the liberty of translating every page of the latest Bond 25 draft, into ancient Greek and Latin. This is of course no problem for him as he is fluent in both. It has however almost made things TOO secure in that many members of cast and crew can no longer access or understand the material. This may cause an additional delay in filming. By Five Years. But that’s fine.

He has also written a THEME TUNE which he can, of course, SING. He has form, having impersonated Hank Williams (we have footage as proof). And he has some novel ideas for the catering, given that he is a trained Cordon Bleu Chef/ sommelier ; from his time in deep method actor cover research for THE NIGHT MANAGER. 

So: while everything remains a bit ‘up in the air’ until the SUPERMAN schedule / deal is secure and clear? Tom is going to be busied by BOND. Mostly in his lunch hours / on coffee breaks/ when he’s not busy saving the world in both reel and real life. And even if this all turns out to be clickbait bollox and he in fact ends up having nothing to do with either JAMES BOND or SUPERMAN? We suspect he might end up doing both and more and soon.

One thing’s for sure we are yet to hear anything from HENRY CAVILL. He did share a cryptic video for his Instagram page the other day. But nothing as yet by way of comment on these HIDDLESTON FOR SUPERMAN rumours.

Perhaps the two actors are being kept apart?

Some mooted that they would be placed in an old fashioned duel, with pistols /swords at dawn, supervised by Warner Bros /DC, with the prize being the role of the Man of Steel? Or a Gladiatorial cage fight. In their underpants. But ideas were shot down. Such inhuman practices were banned under a UN treaty, itself drafted by Hiddleston and Emma Watson, while mentored by KEN BRANAGH?  It could simply be that Henry is keeping his powder dry and diplomatically so. No doubt he wishes to maintain a good relationship with Tom, just in case Cavill does end up playing James Bond rather than Superman in a movie directed, written, catered for and scored by..Is it a bird? A Plane? NO! IT’S HIDDLESTON!  

 

One thing is for sure: anything is possible and everything will be revealed in time. Stranger things have happened than that which features in the piece above, for sure. Which is why people might believe it…even IF it’s filed under ‘satire’ / ‘humor’ / ‘clickbait’ 😉 

JAMES MURPHY ORIGINALLY WROTE THIS ARTICLE FOR THE DAILY PLANET, METROPOLIS. 

 

 

 

 



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