20 October 2019 735 Views

Dear James Bond ‘Fans’: You need to Give up Some Very Bad Habits. Tomorrow. Twice. Forever..

by James Murphy

See what I did there? Yes. I did a ‘thing’: a JAMES BOND ting innit. Played on the titles they use. Geddit? I know. Not clever. How Original!

Just like THESE Bad Bond Fan Habits..That MUST END.. 🙂

 

  • Speculating about the Next James Bond 

Daniel Craig is here to stay! He may even do one more. He could even be a continuity 007, the first to, in universe, become the next M. It’s a role that would suit him: gruff, masculine, no nonsense, authority figure, bit like John Thaw. Sean Connery had a similar proposal once.  It’d keep the franchise afloat for those who like his iteration and critically, enable the introduction of other ethnic / gender combinations in supporting and even leading roles, without having to reboot ‘James Bond’ itself?

The fact is there are no clear pretenders with much merit. Idris was one, sure. But he’s too expensive now and is a ‘star’ rather than just the ‘actor’ he was say 3-4 years ago. James Norton is a credible contender, maybe. But that’s because he is not being touted in every click bait piece going. Recasting this iteration of James Bond, before the 60th anniversary of the series in 2022 is a needless chore, especially IF No Time To Die proves a massive hit, crafts a new ensemble spirit whilst advancing Bond and allows for a happier Daniel to sign on for at least one more. He has a literal interest in this. He’s a co-producer, now. And good, because he does have a creative vision about how thrillers and British film and Hollywood formulae work best.

  • Picking a random Bond film /actor: ‘Was this UNDERRATED?’ 

The answer is yes. And no. And we don’t care. No Bond film was a total flop. Some performed and were received better than others on a theatrical run. Possibly due to marketing / other factors. Sometimes just due to luck. So just review it. Use a new tag-line and make it clear that you know that we know that Timothy Dalton was actually a great Bond, or that On Her Majesty’s Secret Service or Quantum of Solace have merit etc. Isolate WHY you have found a new element in those films /actors and then explain why it’s worth a new review. ‘Why George could take Daniel, Sean, Rog and Pierce in a fight‘ (answer: he is hard and punches well).

 

  • Talking About Yourself as Though YOU are Bond / a Comparable Counterpart..and NEVER SAY POLITICS..ESPECIALLY BREXIT / TRUMP ETC

Climbing Mount Everest. Going to the Moon. Getting published beyond a basic blog. Seducing a beautiful woman. All achievements. Being a Bond ‘fan’: no, sorry. Nobody cares that you once watched Moonraker with your Dad ; it’s an endearing side note, sure! It can even be snuck into a review, delightfully. But what it is not is some distinctive ownership of the series. Don’t use what are common, human experiences as somehow YOUR basis for some higher right to speak for the entire franchise.

Don’t try and walk /talk/pun /drink/fight/shag like 007 or insinuate that you do, via social media. Trust me: VERY bad idea! Even using a Bond themed cover pic can seriously damage your credibility with the opposite sex.

But those are relatively innocuous transgressions, next to the cardinal sin of pasting YOUR politics onto the 007 brand. One reason this series has survived so long is its timeless and essentially neutral quality. Yes, Bond operated in the Cold War, Drug War, War on Terror. But those are, ultimately, in most cases (very occasional exceptions in the series aside) an incidental way in. They USE  a common concern and exaggerate that as the way into the adult fairy tale which, by its very nature, is escapist.

 

 

Bond will NOT comment on Brexit, for example, save perhaps a shrug of shoulder’d joke. The baddies might play on BOTH remainer AND leaver sensibilities. And the actors, generally speaking, will be remainer types because free trade = free art and expression = ideal! IF Bond were an actual real character (news-flash: he is not), then he might actually vote LEAVE. Why? Coz he would not want a federal army and Brexit was possibly, our last chance to stop it. Not that I am being political as a Bond fan 😉

 

  • Asking yet Again if Bond is Sexist /Treats Women Badly /Is a Sex Pest /Should Become a Woman / A N Other Click Baity Boring Debate for Wallies

I will save you some time. Blanket answer: NO! Which is why, funnily enough, James Bond is still James Bond in No Time to Die. Even if the 007 NUMBER is vacated by him and so..taken up by a woman of colour. Don’t get your 007 stamped underpants in a twist.

James Bond is a gentleman. He kills, professionally and calmly /efficiently, with occasional, upsetting exceptions that prove the rule. He could be dead tomorrow so he sleeps around and rarely commits. But it’s always consensual; and he is a romantic, handsome and tender date to the ladies he loves, however briefly. It’s PART of his DNA as a character, which is why a gay /lady Bond does not work. Ethnicity is another matter.

Suspect even Fleming would allow for a change in skin colour /race IF the character remains competent, cool, classy and macho. Which is why Idris would have been ideal, but for Daniel being so good and settled in a role that frankly, does not need a re-cast. Yet. 

 

For GOOD, sensible JAMES BOND fandom debate that knows its place? Try JAMES BOND RADIO and DO YOU EXPECT US TO TALK, to name but two. 

‘Latest thing from Q Branch: it’s called RADIO!’

 

NO TIME TO DIE is released in APRIL 2020. Trailer now imminent?

 

JAMES MURPHY WILL RETURN.

 



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