22 October 2019 2049 Views

The Snooze of Skywalker. New STAR WARS trailer subverted my Expectations..

by James Murphy

…By Being Even MORE Boring, Pointless and Bland than you could POSSIBLY IMAGINE..

See for yourself, here:

 

 

Why am I so harsh?

  • This full trailer reveals fewer details than its preceding TEASER!
  • ZERO indication of plot /premise /character arcs.
  • Faux notions of completing a saga: this offers NOTHING that seems to add to or explain or enhance the original trilogy, anymore or less than the divisive prequels did.

 

  • Shoehorning bland characters into the big picture as though they matter: POE DAMERON is still front and centre of the action. Yaw. Rose Tiko gets a lingering close up. Why?
  • Whose story IS this? Is Finn still our ‘way in’? Is it about the redemption of Kylo? Or just about lots of shots of Daisy, looking cute.
  • The Emperor SEEMS to be our big bad here. Ok, fine. Except that inevitably detracts from the victories of the past films plus confirms Snoke and all prior plots a kind of red herring in this trilogy? AND it surely, inevitably, takes us down a dark magic style path in tone, rather than the big/bold war film in space with just a hint of wizardry that defined even Empire Strikes Back / Return of the Jedi? These things are a delicate balancing act. Always.

 

  • We have LEIA! Fine. But WHY? Her role was basically done by the end of the last movie, anyway. And Carrie Fisher, adorably funny and clever as she was, I suspect, loathed, in her capacity as a writer, the kind of mawkish story contrivances that facilitates her inclusion here?
  • Zero sex appeal /romance. No Reylo! NOTHING to match the Han/Leia or even sand loathing Anakin/Padme (or was that Anakin /Obi-Wan? I forget..).
  • No gays! Where is our Finn/Poe kiss? And no, C3P0 and Palpatine don’t count as proper homosexual gays. That’s cheating!
  • Tidies things up..neatly..blandly..bringing us full circle into nothing, via over-compensation for the much maligned yet now, by contrast, at least marginally interesting Last Jedi.

So, whilst this is perfectly polished and visually stunning and even still baits my curiosity a little bit for completion? The future of STAR WARS is in television /streaming.

 



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