01 November 2019 533 Views

Corden Takes a Stand against Trump. He actually TALKED to Ivanka! At a WEDDING! Then told all to his hero, Arnie! What Bravery!

by James Murphy

Pip Pip! Wot Ho! Chin Chin! By JOVE! It’s only the Mighty JAMES CORDEN! Maybe HE should now be an ACTION HERO like ARNIE?! 

In a brave and mighty display of brave and mighty British bravery and mightiness, JAMES CORDEN took a VERY brave and mighty stand recently, bravely and mightily.

He actually went in, without any back up, and without cover (except his wing man, Orlando Bloom) and infiltrated a society WEDDING! I know..the shameless self sacrifice. The honour! The courage! The sacrifice! He then proceeded to – in no way at all violating the most basic of common courtesy protocols – speak to IVANKA TRUMP..and complain about..her FATHER!

I know. I too am in awe. Because of course! Ivanka is responsible for her own Dad’s every policy and she alone can ‘fix’ him! Because it is in no way at all gutless and a bit bandwagon-hoppy, to swoop down on POTUS’ daughter, at a social event, that happens to be someone else’s celebration of a union of love. But you bring in your schoolboy, sub sixth form politics to it. Wow. Just wow. Zero insight required. No fear of consequence (nb: despite Trump perhaps being constitutionally illiterate and unsympathetic; this is not the McCarthyite era and Corden will if anything, get lots of pats on back for this act of inanity).

And then there is the small matter of how we learned this. Corden relayed his tales of derring do (n’t) to the Terminator. Now, I love Arnold Schwarzenegger. One of my heroes during childhood. I still,  very occasionally, do a secret Terminator /True Lies style walk when I get bored in a shopping Mall and see if anyone notices. I think he is an inspirational figure; proof that if you set goals, stick to them and do reps, be it in the Gym, movies, politics, property/economics or life in general? You win!

There is a decency, a childlike innocence and an infectious love of life and work, pervading Arnold’s manner. But it’s tragic to see the diktat of the box office force this guy into laughing, awkwardly, I might add, at Corden’s selection of exotic weirdo foods and a Truth /Dare style activity.

I know Arnie has a movie to promote. He’s the KING of diplomatic promotions, always has been! But he also had ‘form’ for the occasional tease at a ‘girly little man’. Granted, he has apologised for that, at length, as well as countless other adolescent antics that, though harmless enough, were part of the act and now face the inquisition / penance necessary to progress a career.

Such a shame he could not have maybe delved into that inner 80s/90s Arnie and simply told Corden ‘No. I am not eating shit on your show. It’s recycled as a routine from ‘I’m a Celebrity’; it’s not funny or clever and yes, I have a problem with Trump but NOT with Ivanka so SHUT UP AND PROMOTE MY MMOOOOVIEEE..GO AHHHNN..DOOO IT!‘. He could have gone really wild and tweaked Corden’s nipples? ‘JUST CHECKING IF YOUR BREASTS ARE REAL! ALL JUST A BIT OF HARMLESS FUN!’ (Nah, like Arnie would EVER say /do stuff like that?!). Etc.

But poor Arnold was ambushed, looked a BIT awkward and said little to back Corden up; itself arguably a way of remaining neutral and neither upsetting anyone nor endorsing them. Just promoting the movie. Not upstaging his host, even though he could do so, endlessly and effortlessly. It’s called ‘class’: Arnold has buckets of it. But it’s a quality, a certain something I think, anyway, Corden neglected / forgot /never had anyway.. with his cornering poor Ivanka then recounting it like some heroic yet comedic anecdote? Just sayin’, like..

People forget, too, what it was that caused the Trump/Arnold rift.

The Donald has a notorious insensitivity toward enviro-matters. Arnie wants the environment protected (paper free schools; alternative fuels etc). There’s that. And economics, too: Arnie is a Republican /compassionate conservative whereas Trump simply used the Republican party as a part time platform to power, via ‘trickle down’ taxation policy that’s outdated? But above all, Trump dissed Schwarzenegger’s ratings! In PUBLIC! When Arnold took over Celebrity Apprentice, ratings went down a bit. Not due to the new host but more because it was a Trump show and everyone can now get that, for free, online, 24/7, c/o Twitter /White House.

The Donald was TRYING to do what Arnie himself had done for years to his own friendly rivals like Stallone, in winding them up in public as incentive to further friendly rivalries. The problem is that Trump aint Arnie, so his delivery just came across as mean spirited, rude and nasty and as unearned as uncalled for.

There may well have been a dimension too that Arnold feels it should and indeed could have been him in that White House, but for the small matter of not being born in the USA: a constitutional detail he surely had the influence to get amended by now through vigorous campaigning? Either way, these guys are now foes rather than friends. And with good cause. Unlike Corden, who is a Brit abroad, has no reason to engage in any of these American /political debates at all and adds nothing to ANY of it either as satire /comedy or genuinely concerned observer.

And it would have been great for Arnie to call that out. He didn’t, and I do understand why. It was a light entertainment ambush! And there is a duty to be diplomatic, which, to be fair, he was, via strategically placed silent smile. And whilst that said it all? It didn’t quite say enough, for me. You look at Schwarzenegger: he never allows the term ‘self made’ to be used of him, because he is first to cite those who helped and inspired him, notably the late President George Bush (Sr).

But Arnold DID build his own career, from nothing and in stages. He was NOT promoted, overnight and he was funny in a comedy as he was adept at action heroics onscreen and then, politics, off it.

The bar has dropped very low indeed if we have gone from that literal Master of the Universe pinnacle of perfectionism..to James Corden, king of the sub sixth form end of term skit, got lucky (imho) yet who now wields star power akin to Terminator himself? 

In any event, and whatever one’s politics? A social gathering, notably, a wedding party: NOT the place to ‘do’ politics and certainly not an impressive boast. Equally, Ivanka Trump is NOT her Dad. She’s a well mannered and polite, decent kid, who works hard in her field. So she should be off limits in the Trump debate, same way the adorable Chelsea should be when people attack her parents (Mr and Mrs Clinton).

I know my stuff. I sat and had a sandwich with Chelsea once, back at Oxford. I realised it was her, went over, introduced myself. And she listened, we chatted about movies and medicine and who should play her folks in a film (Ms Clinton was amused by my suggestion of Richard Gere and Sharon Stone!).

Heck: Hillary and Donald even agreed in the debates a few years back, that whatever their differences, they both had raised lovely children. So let’s remember and respect that?

Hasta La Vista. Have a great weekend! And please enjoy TERMINATOR: DARK FATE. It’s a solid action film and a worthy entry in a series that continues to morph. Above all? It has Arnold, deployed correctly and in partnership with Linda Hamilton. Drama, comedy, action…all at once! They’ll be back. 

No offence meant to James Corden or his fans. Indeed, I enjoyed watching him do a video with KAYNE WEST. Kayne, of course, was known to speak out in favour of..TRUMP! So it’s all good..full circle..etc. #irony #satire #idiocy



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