04 December 2020 705 Views

Tarantino once pitched a Dr Who story. It was INSANE!

by James Murphy

‘So the way I see it? The Doctor and the Master are both explorers; both waiting to get…’

..and we cannot print the rest of that in a family friendly blog. However, it is thought that Tarantino was and is a yuge Dr Who fan. And, just as he kept pitching James Bond and Star Trek ideas..so too it was for the BBC Timelord.

Little is known of the full idea or how far it went. But Quentin did meet then BBC top brass including Alan Yentob. Transcripts, paraphrased, retrospectively, as follows:

The Tagline: ‘Master Who and the Gimps from Space’: 2 explorers are gonna get..explored!..but these aliens just fk’ed with the wrong renegade TimeLords’.

Quentin explained, further..

‘Ok so the 70s era Doctor (part Baker, part Pertwee; all black) and the Master get kidnapped. In space. By a cult that likes to dress up like Sharez Jek off Caves of Androzani.

 

But they’re filthy. I mean sick. Vile. Like they are OBSESSED with probing species’ dark dimensions. So when they score these two Time-Lords? FIRST place they wanna go is ASS. I’m talking proper ass, man.

So you see these space gimps tie up the Doctor. But they take the Master next door..all you can hear is the the SCREAMING..the Doctor just knows that his old enemy is being ass probed, big time. And he would not wish that on anyone.

So Doc frees himself using an old venusian aikido move. Doc manages to find the ‘sicko- fux’ (that’s what these alien bad guys are called, yeah?)stash of weapons. Dalek plunger, cyber gun, mind probe, etheric beam locator..the works. He wires it up, bursts through the door, kills every last motherf… in the room.

But SAVES the Master and lets Master kill the final torturer. These two timelords shake hands on it. Master agrees to let the Doctor free to roam and save the universe…provided he NEVER talks to ANYONE about what happened..’. 

Funnily enough? Never got past the pitch stage. Cannot imagine why? But it is at least fun, innovative, energetic..unlike the series at the moment. Come back Quentin..all is forgiven! 

nb trolls: look at the filing system. ‘satire’.

With special thanks to a Timelord from Oxford:)



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