22 February 2021 978 Views

Harry’s royal titles will be given over to Si from Coronation Street

by James Murphy

A dark time for the Windsors? A NEW DAWN for British Royalty!

In a move set to stun the establishment, but possibly reinvent it, too: the Duke of Sussex has formally appointed and anointed Alexander Anthony Keith Bain as his successor.

‘It is time for the British Royal family to embrace new blood and some socially relevant storylines, yeah’ (actual direct quote from Harry).

‘That’s nice’ (Queen Elizabeth II)

‘Eh! But. Da way I see it yeah..’ (Si from Coronation Street). 

This is music to the ears of Meghan. She always wanted a good coronation. Harry is giving it to her. It is also hoped that the move will form part of their ongoing universal service, with the Suss-exes joining the cast of this UK soap opera alongside their Netflix deals.

Harry is a great actor and is happy to job swap with the kid playing Si. Just look at how our old Prince Hal went from ace macho master of the universe fighter pilot to looking like a supply teacher in an RE Department waiting for his lentils to cook in the staff room. Dude went full method.

So playing a Manchunian 12 year old drug courier on Corrie should be a cake-walk! Just look at how effortlessly he remade Notting Hill last week in the baby bump reveal photo: genius!

More news when we have it. nb: filed under..’satire’. Don’t send me to the Tower just yet.

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