09 June 2021 687 Views

Dear UK: This proposed Jubilee thingie in 2022 is a mistake. Like a sequel that’s been rushed out..

by James Murphy

..When the sensible thing to do is give us a reboot a few years later…(wait ’til the girl reaches 100?)

Hear me out. Or don’t. Dunno. CONTROVERSY CORNER ALERT!

So: UK / HMG has announced next year will feature a FOUR DAY BANK HOLIDAY. Great. Wonderful. Well, it would be IF the mood, creativity, innovation, patriotism and purpose were ‘there’. They aren’t, at least not yet. So I dread this event. 

 I love the Queen. But:
 
1: This 4 day Jubilee festival? Forced. Feels less 2012 Olympics and SKYFALL; more 2002 World Cup humiliation / Die another Day. Please don’t have some lost Beatle /resurrected Beach Boy shouting ‘hey yer majesty’ from a castle turret.

 

2: You cannot manufacture a feel good factor. Zeitgeists and timing just happen, as if by magic. The magic is not here yet imho so maybe hold off? 
 
3: FOUR DAYS. We just lost 365 of them?
 
4: Yay! street parties! where nobody will be allowed to smoke; everyone is scared of causing offence / getting shanked / cancelled by some new wave or variant of the next viral threat? All set to a Gary Barlow performance via David Beckham public speaking effort, while Prince Charles looks on and gets emotional? No thanks.
 
5:  Harry and Megz will want possibly top billing; everyone will give Kate and Wills a round of applause for simply doing their job well. We will never, alas, get Queen Zara.
It all begs the question:
Why initiate the double standard of celebrating a crown symbol so frantically being disrespected everywhere else? 
Statues are being torn down. Paintings removed. Stasi level disintegration of sports and other stars for youthful folly.
THIS country..is not in a happy place right now. 
 
I love the Queen. She’s like Princess Leia. It’s an apt comparison now, as Star Wars, like patriotism can suffer from forced brand saturation. See: The Last Jedi and ‘let the past die, kill it if you have to‘ etc. Plus, Leia and Bessie are both classy birds. Hauteur. Elegance. An ability to say ‘um, no’ in a very cool, commanding fashion whilst retaining a glimpse of feminine warmth. Curly hair, too. MY kinda girls. See also: Julia Roberts, Sienna Miller, Sally Phillips.. Kinda like that one girl / ‘prom queen’ type we all fancied in sixth form yet could never quite defeat in a verbal battle of wits. Oh. Just me, so. Sorry. 
I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah. Nostalgia. It aint wot it used 2 b etc..
Alas, this is no longer 2012 or Cool Britannia 1997. Britain has lost its innocence and identity of late.  Yes, the triumph of our vaccine roll-out and NHS work in the last year are the envy of the universe. I agree! But we have nonetheless also endured a generation of dismantling the core values Elizabeth II personified throughout her life and reign.
Probity. Honour. Patriotism. A sense of balance: to evolve and develop the British imagery and idiom, whilst retaining a core of steely strength and class. All gone or at least missing in action in our national psyche.
To initiate a faux respect for ER2’s achievement? As excuse for insta-feel good holiday factor? To my mind, that’s the worst kind of disrespectful deception. It accentuates rather than ameliorates the fractures in British society and the tremors of newly uncertain status on a global stage.
Indeed, even the prized ‘special relationship’ with America has been banished from the consciousness. Such a shame. Especially as we strive to copy the USA’s flag deployment and its countless other identity rituals, in our own fragile rebranding of Britain. Tragic irony. 
Don’t drag out Elizabeth like Frank Sinatra tributes every Jubilee, just because the world is otherwise a bit lacking in magic. She deserves better. This proposed event is folly..as in In-Gen taking dinosaurs off Isla Sorna and bringing them to the mainland level bad idea (cf: Ian Malcolm, The Lost World: Jurassic Park). 
 
Here endeth my rant. Sorry. God save the Queen! x


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