30 July 2021 2047 Views

#FLEMINGFRIDAY: James Bond vs..(part 4)

by James Murphy

 

Probably Final Ep in increasingly contrived series wherein we pit 007 against other series’ challenges..

 

 

  • BOND V METEOR/ASTEROID:

Sean Connery beat this in a movie called METEOR (1979). Bond as a character, himself ? He’d ensure a team of astronauts was equipped with drilling skills rather than send drillers up there without adequate space experience (see: ARMAGEDDON, 1998). 007 would not hesitate to detonate the nuke, either, even if it meant dying to save the world.

 

    • BOND IN THE DCEU:

Aquaman takes down pirates in submarines but then, so does Bond. Aquaman fights a madman set on building an ocean utopia. 007 had that sorted in SPY WHO LOVED ME (1977).

SUPERMAN? Well, one refined kryptonite bullet from Bond’s walther ppk weakens Superman without killing him, so buying enough time for 007 to interrogate the man of steel and discover his benign intentions. Without ever going the ‘MARTHA’ route (though i do love that scene).

Lex Luthor is basically Blofeld (bald, brilliant, billionaire, bastard) so James can take care of him before breakfast without breaking sweat.

 

 

awesome artwork c/o Michael Heather. Many Thanks!

 

  • BOND VS THE EMPIRE FROM STAR WARS:

What do you mean, ‘vs’? He’d be IN that Empire and seeing the bigger picture (order in the galaxy). Plus Palpatine and Tarkin are Brits, right? Now, in the longer term, Bond would be turned (on) by Princess Leia / Daisy, for sure. And therefore, he’d join the rebels. But only once guaranteed order and civility in the next new Republic.

There would never have been any ‘first order’ had Bond been on board with the Skywalkers. He blew up his own Death Star counterparts in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, MOONRAKER, GOLDENEYE and yes: DIE ANOTHER DAY. Bond would space walk his way through the average Star Wars adventure.

 

  • BOND ON A STAR TREK:

His utility here depends on the captain to whom he is assigned. 007 would think Picard pompous, officious and irritating, though might appreciate Pat Stewart’s impression of Timothy Dalton.

Best match is probably Kirk as both he and Bond love women, outdoor activities and bending the rules without actually destroying them. Borg a natural villain as they oppose identity and seek a global, universal identity, much like 007’s Marxist /other terrestrial antagonists.

Khan another obvious baddie to battle Bond, hand to hand?

The elephant in the room is alien life: does 007 believe in it? Answer is of course, yes. But he would take the view that ‘intelligent’ life, elsewhere in the universe or our dimensions, would regard Earth as primitive and therefore unsuitable for conquest. Bond also saw the Area 51 files (cf: Connery, The Rock!) and knows the CIA faked alien conspiracy bait as cover for nuclear testing. 😉

 

  • BOND VS CITIZEN KANE? 

Orson Welles appeared in the spoof CASINO ROYALE rather than, alas, an actual proper Bond film. But that’s ok. Because in a way, he played the proto 007 villain as antihero of own narrative, as Charles Foster Kane.

A press mogul who starts trying to manipulate political events? Living in an isolated fortress with exotic fairy tale allusions? That’s PURE Fleming novel villainy.

It’s what makes TOMORROW NEVER DIES such a clever extension of 007 canon despite not having a novel as source material.

Yes, am no fan of Jonathan Pryce playing the role of Carver (Bob Hoskins and Albert Finney were considered and would have been far better imho). But it’s Pierce Brosnan 007 at his peak in the role; captures ‘Cool Britannia’ and has Bond take down an exaggeration of a real world threat that still exists today (media power, unchecked).

Could easily be retooled for a Daniel Craig film, too? Leveson inquiry era Bond, perhaps?

And of course, Fleming himself had a run in with a press baron. Esmond Harmsworth, 2nd Viscount Rothermere, was the first husband of Ann Fleming, before their divorce enabled her to marry Ian.

Elliot Harmsway  was the first draft name given to the baddie, later rechristened ‘Carver’, for Bond 18/ ‘Tomorrow Never Lies’ (or ‘Dies’ as it came to be known c/o a typo that seemed to stick). 

BOND NEWS POST SCRIPT(s):

HAPPY WEEKEND, ONE AND ALL. TRANSMISSION ENDS. BOND OUT 😉



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