19 August 2021 364 Views

MARVEL’S INFERNALS. Sorry, I mean ETERNALS..

by James Murphy

..Has a new EPIC TRAILER. Marginal improvement on the first.

Still a bit shit though, imho. Here’s why:

 

  • Their FIRST reference is to TONY STARK. That makes you immediately miss DOWNEY and notice the giant charisma gap  unfilled in the Marvel Cinematic Universe since his departure. BIG MISTAKE!
  • IE: Either reboot and move on or don’t. ENDING everything with ENDGAME gave a chance to genuinely start afresh. If you cannot do that? Then your universe just died and this is dead air and borrowed time.

  • The villains (the ‘sexual deviants’), such as they are, look dull and derivative. But they’re still more compelling than the ‘heroes’ here.
  • Where is the charisma? FUN? The JOY? Well, they try and tag that on, awkwardly, with tonal illiteracy, like so many comic book movies today. As in gaps in dialogue with an entitled expectation of your in joke laughter.

  • If they are all celestial immortal beings? Why are they ripped like they have all been in the Gym for a thousand years? Kumail Nanjiani we know you worked out. We get it. But WHY? Surely, if they are HIDING among mortals? Then the more inconspicuous, the better?
  • Continued attempt to repeat the 1950s studio power trend of ‘making’ stars. Memo to Hollywood: Gemma Chan does not as yet, open movies. Why is she being promoted so much? Stick her in Emmerdale Farm for a bit with that dude from Bridgerton and see how they fare, there? 

  • If they ‘love’ and fight for what they love, these eternal types, then why also have exposition about how they did NOT intervene? #LOGIC!
  • Angelina and Salma are not shot flatteringly imho here. Game of Thornes dudes also left looking rather lost. In CAMDEN. With IKEA! Yep. Hilarious.

But hey: EMPIRE magazine will love this. It will hit big. And if you hate it then you are a daft racist, right? RIGHT?!



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