05 January 2023 568 Views

Prince Harry is full of..

by James Murphy

NEW ROYAL REVELATIONS!

‘Many people will not believe me. But Megz and I have travelled in time. It was a machine, provided by the Royal Family and withheld to millions more who need its services.  So we nicked it’.

Among the revelations Harry will share:

  • Edward II: ‘I helped him come out as a Gay. Shame, because they killed him for that. But that just shows the struggles Royals have with privacy’
  • Richard III: ‘He was a nice man. No hunchback’.

  • Henry VII: ‘Tight with money. Has no alibi for the Princes in the Tower. Just sayin’, like’. 
  • Henry VIII: ‘Stole my look. The beard, the ginger thing, all of it. Not a good bloke at all though very solid as a tennis player and song writer’. 

  • Elizabeth I: ‘Much like Megz. Strong. Powerful. Influencer. But I killed 25 Spaniards for her, and she never even said ‘thanks”. 
  • James VI and I: ‘Vile man. Accused Megz of witchcraft, as though that’s a bad thing?’. 

  • Oliver Cromwell: ‘Ok, not a Royal. But he succeeded where I have so far, failed, in bringing down a monarchy, for a bit. Sadly, he said very racist things about the Irish and cancelled Christmas. Not cool at all’
  • George III: ‘Many people think he was mad. But that was because the mental health access was not great. I set him up with a therapist. Talking to trees is fine. My Dad does it. It’s cool.‘. 
  • Edward VIII: ‘I told him. GET OUT. You have to save the woman you love. And if anyone makes fun of you for meeting Nazis, just blame your brother’. 

 

 

NB: Filed under ‘satire’. As indeed, everything from Harry, ought be, from here on. Next up? He and Tom Bradby take turns impersonating Fr Dougal Mcguire. 



New

#MOM : Missed Opportunity Movies. STAR TREK TNG!
31 January 2023
#MOM : Missed Opportunity Movies. STAR TREK TNG!

May interest You

#MOM : Missed Opportunity Movies. STAR TREK TNG!
31 January 2023
#MOM : Missed Opportunity Movies. STAR TREK TNG!
Poetry Viral: Paula Clark
31 January 2023
Poetry Viral: Paula Clark
THE FABELMANS. Or? Spielberg’s Greatest Hits!
30 January 2023
THE FABELMANS. Or? Spielberg’s Greatest Hits!

Popular

WEDNESDAY
29 November 2022
WEDNESDAY
Christmas TV. It’s all connected! From Jack Ryan to Coronation Street. But How?..
29 December 2022
Christmas TV. It’s all connected! From Jack Ryan to Coronation Street. But How?..

Tags