OBAMA CHANGES POSITION IN RADICAL POLICY U-TURN
In a brave turn on policy, President Obama has declared that he is now willing to open diplomatic channels with the Galactic Empire remnants. They now call themselves the ‘First Order’ and progress can be made. The President has had assurances that they will not be building any Death Stars and that the parts they are building are simply for ‘shield generators’.
The deal is conditional, however. If there is ANY indication that the First Order forces are indeed working on a weapon that can ‘wipe out an entire solar system’, then sanctions will be imposed and an immediate blockade by the Trade Federation will be put in place, as that strategy has worked well in the past (Naboo).
The President is clearly on a roll here. In other news, he announced that SKYNET is no longer a threat to human safety. ‘Humans and machines can co-exist, peacefully. I have therefore commissioned John Connor to create GENISYS: An app that will link everything together in the world’. Once again though, the deal is conditional ‘NO more T-800 infiltration of Governor’s Offices’.
Talks have also opened with previously shadowy organisations, notably QUANTUM and its rebranded successor /founding company, SPECTRE. ‘I have spoken to Ernst Blofeld and Mr. White. I was very clear. No more evil plans at world domination will be tolerated. Thankfully, we had a very good friend in Great Britain, who sent their best man to seal the deal. This is the dawn of a new era of co-operation between our great nations and with previously evil organisations that wanted to take over the world’.
Rumours are also spreading that the President will urge Congress to pass bills allowing InGEN (the late John Hammond’s company) to proceed with its dinosaur cloning programme and thereby open a new theme park. Meanwhile, talks continue to progress with Tony Stark on licensing the ULTRON defence programme and Super-Hero Registration Act. More news to follow on that as soon as we get it.
Pardons were also issued to criminals including: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Thomas Crown, Carlito Brigante, Michael and Vincent Corleone, Han Solo, Ant-Man, Bonnie and Clyde, Batman and Superman, Godzilla, King Kong, XXX, Dominic Toretto, Neil McCauley, Hudson Hawk, Ethan Hunt, Captain Jack Sparrow, John Patrick Mason, Selina Kyle, John Robie, Robert MacDougal, Luther Whitney, Peter Quill, Richard Kimble, Danny Ocean, Jack Foley, Simon Templar, Charlie Croker, William Wallace, Dalton Russell and Jason Bourne. Plus a few classified others.
These are bold moves by the President. Oliver Stone has speculated that it might be a conspiracy. Stone has form for making such statements. He once thought that President Bill Mitchell had been replaced by a double. Nothing was ever proved, though a film called DAVE (1993) dramatized what might have happened. That said, one White House insider has indicated that Mr. President frequently now wishes people to address him only as ‘ZARTAN’. So perhaps there is something more to this new policy than meets the eye? MovieViral will keep you updated.