08 February 2019 2189 Views

Top Jedi Master Expelled from Council after accusations of Racism against Jawas and Sand People

by James Murphy

Qui Gon: ‘I’m not Racist’

The Jedi Council took the unprecedented move of expelling a beloved Master, this week. In an interview promoting the new Jedi Order intake, Qui Gon Jinn was asked his thoughts on Jedi taking revenge. Whilst he made it VERY clear that he did not condone violence for its own sake, he made a controversial statement. ‘I will tell you a true story. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I knew a friend on Tatooine. They were being harassed by Jawas and Sand-People. So, for about a week, I went out, in a speeder, armed with a blaster and light sabre. Hoping that some ‘Sand-person or Jawa bastard’ would come out, start something and allow me to use the force on them’.

His padawan, Obi Wan Kenobi was present during the remarks and shouted ‘Oh SHIT , Master!’. Qui Gon simply said ‘I know’ but was careful to qualify his remarks and noted that he did not act upon his impulses. ‘I’m not racist! Mace Windu and Lando are friends of mine! And at the time? It taught me a lesson. Fear led me to anger; anger led me to hate and hate was leading me to the dark side! So I went and sought help from Master Yoda and he set me some Jedi exercises. Two hours a day. I was fine.’ 

Nonetheless? The Jedi Council HAD to act, quickly. These admissions come at a time of heightened racial tensions and paranoia in the galaxy. And so, Master Qui Gon has been expelled from the Council. But he remains a revered Jedi and it is thought his insight and influence are still valued. Indeed, his scheduled mission to the Trade Federation is still ‘on’ and nobody has ruled out his training more Jedi, including the fabled ‘chosen one’.

More news when we have it. But we suspect it’s just a wild bantha chase..



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