23 August 2020 554 Views

What is the point in THE BATMAN? Seriously. Answers on a postage stamp.

by James Murphy

Riddle me This…Riddle me That..WHO WANTS TO SEE THIS NEW VERSION OF THE BAT?….

Answer: Not me. And frankly, I dare say, there might be others who share my slight fatigue on this.

UNDERWHELMING NEW TRAILER. UPSTAGED IN ANY EVENT BY BIGGER BAT-NEWS..

Cast minds back to 2007. JUSTICE LEAGUE: MORTAL was set to be made. George Miller directing. Except Chris Nolan stood in and told Warners/DC that made no sense because in effect it meant launching a rival Batman alongside his ongoing Dark Knight saga. Well done, Chris. Took some balls! Drawback is we missed out on a Miller comic book movie but they coulda, woulda and shoulda done that after Dark Knight Rises. Anyway. They are making up for it.

My point is that if you have more than one iteration of a character operating at once? Audiences get confused, tired, bored. Less is more. A dedicated Batman fan will LOVE having lots of new caped crusader content. Johnny average cinema-goer..less so? Especially when fewer Cinema outings are happening, with or without Covid crises / their legacy. 

So DC Fandome, however fun, fabulous and forward thinking? Just shot itself in the foot, commercially. Because they have confirmed that BEN AFFLECK AND MICHAEL KEATON ARE RETURNING AS BAT-MEN. Not on some HBO spin off for wallies. But on the BIG SCREEN. Nostalgia! Unfinished business! Limitless possibilities for a multiverse of stories! And some of THE BEST BAT-ACTORS. With room for more (Bale HAS to come back, now, surely? And even Clooney /Kilmer get a shot?).

The MOMENT that news was official? The idea of Pattinson’s littler Batman film became a dull irrelevance. Seriously. WHY would I PAY to see that in a Cinema now? Maybe if the trailer rocked. It doesn’t. It looks slow, shambolic, lazy, depressing, cheap, derivative and pointless. Ok, it’s only a trailer. Ok, Pattinson might be amazing. But I see nothing either radically new here nor anything of nostalgic interest?

What I AM seeing (imho) is..

  • Fan Film Level Cinematography and Sound
  • Tonally Illiterate references to the likes of Seven: which makes no sense IF this is meant to be a commercial prospect?
  • Sets that looked cramped and worthy of an ep of Eastenders
  • Pattinson looking the part as neither Bruce Wayne nor Batman.

 

  • Muddled attempts at some fusion of Chris Nolan era realism to Tim Burton level prostheses on the baddies.
  • Colin Farrell is the most attention seeking wannabe Heath Ledger as Joker surprise style casting coup in history. Can he play Penguin? Sure! But WHYYYYY? Dude was almost Batman himself a few years back. It’s just stupid.
  • Aesthetic looks a LOT like the planned Aronofsky take of 2000, too; the Year One that was never made? SO ORIGINAL, right? Um..

 

  • Irritating voice-over from presumably Andy Serkis (ever over-promoted) as supposedly Alfred the Butler? Indicating this is yet ANOTHER origin story. zzzzzz
  • Batman as DETECTIVE! Why do the fans go ON and ON about this? He DID play detective. Yes, even in the Burton/Schumacher movies. Even in the Adam West ones. And yes, in Dark Knight /Rises/Begins/Takes a ten year Coffee Break etc. So his doing it here is NOT a USP. Unless you are a moron.

Just a trailer. Just my opinion / first impression. But I have to say it..am a LOT more excited by Keaton and Affleck coming back than this start up with Pattinson. ‘But I’ve been wrong before’. 

THE BATMAN. AUTUMN 2021. Filming resumes at UK studios, in September.



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