28 April 2021 715 Views

Disney acquires ‘CORONATION STREET’ for streaming. Jeff Goldblum and Harrison Ford set to join the cast?

by James Murphy

..and TIMOTHY DALTON..is doing the FLOWERS!

This just in. Breaking news! Hot on the heels of their STAR WARS and MARVEL products, Disney seems eager to press ahead with another IP acquisition. British soap opera CORONATION STREET is headed for Disney Plus!

Details are thin on the ground as it is early days and ink barely dry on the contracts. But it is thought that JEFF GOLDBLUM was keen to join the cast as Dev’s long lost brother. A known polymath who enjoys all new varieties of experience, the actor is happy to lend his many talents to the brand.

Of course. Yes. They asked me, ah..hhahahaahah..and I said, of course, yah. I LOVE Dev. He is brilliant. And he has been having a terrible time with the Kebab shop in the pandemic. Of course, ah, yes. I will play Dev’s brother and will be making kebabs and playing jazz piano for customers‘.

HARRISON FORD was quick to follow Jeff. He is a massive ‘Corrie’ fan and enjoys the work of Ken Barlow, especially. ‘We are like brothers! I may even get him to double me in the new Indiana Jones picture.’

TIMOTHY DALTON will be arranging the FLOWERS. He is a very particular man and regards this as his greatest challenge yet. Even more important than playing JAMES BOND.

JULIE ANDREWS is being approached to cameo as Sally’s long lost future self in a sci-fi twist. They will team up and duet on songs from Sound of Music. SALLY DYNEVOR should thereby get the kind of Hollywood attention she so richly deserves!

More on this when we have it. And yes, notice the filings (satire might be ticked?). And really, is this any less realistic that Corrie’s current fixation with drugs, crime and coercion? Disney might just help them rediscover the JOY that has deserted the cobbles of late.

As recently as last year we had the great abusing/ baddie storyline with the unbeatableĀ Ian Bartholomew. But since he left, the ethos is slipping. The trick is yes, go to dark places, but punctuate that with wit, gossip, organic and credible humour. It’s that human dimension which today’s writers, be they on soaps or super-hero products, are in real danger of evading /forgetting? Confront the dragon on the cobbles and slay it but do not allow your whole show to become the darkness..leave that to EASTENDERS..



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