Someone make it stop. Please.
UNCHARTED was a computer game. They made it a movie. There is a trailer to warn us all about its inevitable release.
Formula, roughly as follows:
- Mentor recruits young callow youth wannabe buck challenger.
- Young hero is 20-30 yet impossibly competent and over qualified.
- Rich people looking at maps.
- Action scene on an aircraft carrier.
- English actor as leading man doing a so so American accent.
- Stars of the 1990s/200s/2010s as mentor figures /antagonists.
- Unearned in jokes which are ripped off from James Bond.
- Unearned archaeological idiom, borrowed from Indiana Jones.
- Trying to make Tom Holland a ‘star’ rather than just a solid little actor who was good as nerdy acrobat Spider-Kid, because he is, in real life..not that far removed from said profile.
- Trying to make Mark Wahlberg convince as something other than blue collar thick thug.
- NB: ALL the above = ‘imho’ and edge on ‘satire’!
- And the film will do big business no matter what I say. 🙂
Basically? Think: KINGSMAN + TOMB RAIDER + FAST AND FURIOUS +MISSION:IMPOSSIBLE? Dash of SPIDER-MAN /TRANSFORMERS.
Put simply? Indiana Jones can sleep safely in his bed at night. Even at 80, this new kid poses ZERO threat!
