10 April 2022 493 Views

Fantastic Beasts 3 Review

by James Murphy

I will make this brief. UNLIKE THE FILM!

The Good:

  • Heart in the right place. Strong Moral messages about family, love, forgiveness, conservation and animal welfare.
  • A wake up call to avoid complacency when faced with the march of political evil. Very apt, given the current world crises.
  • Visually stunning. Immersive. Beautiful to just look at, with a range of locations and sets, incorporating various historical motifs.
  • All the characters are likeable. Even the eeevilll baddies have a kind of class, here. NO ANNOYING KIDS!

The Bad:

  • THERE IS NO LINEAR PLOT HERE. IT IS JUST A SERIES OF COBBLED TOGETHER SET PIECES.
  • OVERLONG! BY LIKE, AN HOUR?
  • Yes, do historical analogies and warnings from said. But DON’T be so lazy as to have the baddie wizards emerging from GERMANY, yeah? Come on. ffs.
  • WHAT IS DUMBLEDORE’S BIG SECRET? I still do not know. And no, it’s not that he fancies boys. He’s Jude Law in this, so a few boys (yeah, even straight ones) would probably think ‘cor he’s fit’, too. No biggie. Literally. 😉

The Meh:

  • IS THIS REALLY A ‘FAMILY’ MOVIE? Nah. I mean, sure, teenagers will enjoy most of it, perhaps. And HARRRRRRYYYYY POTTTTTERRR fans. But it’s dark and dour for all its attempts at a feel good vibe toward the end. PARENTS, BEWARE!
  • I mentioned great designs. Yes. But some of those feel somehow underpopulated and empty, like they literally just took an abandoned film lot and stuck a few actors on it, maybe for a musical number that got cut?
  • THOSE AMERICAN ACCENTS. STOP IT. Even if they are in fact Americans, it is just BAD. Sorry!

All in all: FINE! Watchable. Enjoyable, in bits. That is the nicest I will ever be about this franchise.  But the series/brand is running low on fuel, fast. Needs radical injection of new ideas and energy should it wish to thrive much longer? B-. EXPELLIAMUS!



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