DEPP V HEARD. Nobody wins.

My Thoughts on the Johnny v Amber thing:

1: He is a good man.

AND a Pirate! Seriously. The dude packed a Jack Sparrow costume anywhere he went in the world, just in case a kids’ hospice needed a visit. That, to me, does not scream ‘villain’?

2: The legal action is doomed.

They keep dismissing ‘hearsay’ and yet THE WHOLE BLOODY THING is just that, imho. ‘Hearsay’. Because even the visual, empirical evidence is now tainted by opinion / differing accounts of context and so on.

This kind of thing gives good British kids the wrong idea about how law works, c/o a value judgement laden American televised Court soap opera. If you want good law, on television? Watch Judge Judy or Rumpole. 😉 

3: THESE ARE TWO ACTORS.

Well, he is an actor, anyway. Good if not great? Not quite Downey level genius but Jack Sparrow is among the most iconic figures in cinema history.

As in, when I taught a summer EFL school about ten years ago, all it took was one ‘look’ as the Pirate Captain for kids to shout with joy ‘ahhhh jacques sparrow!’. A rogue, pirate, adventurer and comic skit character, with romantic and ethical undertones, for all time. Sparrow that is. Not me. Although. 😉

Anyway: Heard has not created anything comparable to Depp. Until this Court case. Seriously, without in any way commenting on whether she is telling the truth? It IS an acting, bravura, performance, ironically, in a way that Johnny’s is not. 

Depp has not, to my mind, acquitted himself well and his legal and acting coach team ought be ashamed of allowing this husk of a human being, shadow of former talent and clearly shaken, vulnerable soul, to take the stand, smile and even laugh, nervously.

And as for allowing him to say he never saw the Pirates movie? FFS. 

4: RIGHT IDEA; WRONG JURISDICTION AND CLAIM?

Johnny: THERE WAS NO POINT IN SUING AMBER! The people you needed to act against were:

• THE SUN NEWSPAPER: Appeal that case. UK. Or woulda/coulda/shoulda done so. Because ‘wife beater’ implies habitual character trait rather than even one off episode (not that even a one off is ok). THAT was what caused you to get FIRED. Speaking of which..
• WARNER BROS/DISCOVERY: They sacked Johnny from FANTASTIC BEASTS without, to my mind, due process? Contrast with EZRA MILLER, who is still in work. Go figure.
• DISNEY: For threatening a Pirates reboot, even before all this silliness happened? Their delays on that last movie, too (albeit with your possible complicity?) cost you some box office clout and $$$ residuals.

5: MORAL OF THE STORY?

DO NOT LEAVE YOUR WIFE!!! Be a player all you want; date everyone; do lots of drugs/alcohol and be an ethical hedonist wherever possible. But if you are married? STAY THAT WAY. Because no matter how nice you might be? The moment you lose that moral sheen, protection and societal unit? You are catnip to the baddies..

THE END. CASE CLOSED. 😉 

ps: the ‘burn and drown her’ texts? CLEARLY AN IN CHARACTER JOKE as in you can hear Jack Sparrow IN its tone. Context is everything. Had he SAID that, in a verbal voice message and menacing tone..THEN we would have a problem with this guy..big time. He didn’t. So, I for one, do not.