10 January 2023 413 Views

Prince Harry has been to SPACE!

by James Murphy

He got spaced out! 

Among the revelations in SPARE? Comes the news that Harry was sent on a top secret mission to MARS. 

‘Initially? I felt that the Martians were an oppressed people. Yes, Mars is in the Commonwealth. Many Lizard people of the Windsor line lived there. But myself and Meghan felt we could bring peace to the Galaxy and rebuild some inter-stellar bridges.

‘Harry went into space’, they said. The British Tabloid Press. Satanic. Evil. But it was more than that. Did we see actual space racism? No, but there was definitely some unconscious bias. On both sides. William and Kate asked what colour the Martians might be. There was talk of ‘Little Green Men’.

But when I went and saw Martian culture in action?

I realised their skin colour was irrelevant. Some of them were indeed, ‘greenies’ but I now think that is an inoffensive term. Mars residents are people, too.

They also have a monarchy, therapists. And they face their own Taliban, waging Space Jihad, so I shot those baddies, into the space beyond space (California).

I stood, outside time. I was no longer, Prince Harry, Astronaut. I was one of the Navi’. 

This passage was redacted from the actual book, SPARE.

But Jim Cameron bought the rights. Arnold Schwarzenegger will play a de-aged Harry. He’s Austrian, Harry is basically, German, right? If it flops? Just say ‘This was your Grandad’s Prince’. Details to follow, in time. 

NB: Filed under ‘satire’. Yep. Cos NOTHING could be weirder or duller than the shit show currently engulfing the media, surrounding Harry..



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